© you're so funny!

thanks ! my mum made me visit a psychologist when i was 5 because, she thought i was crazy for liking movies with violence. question mark question mark.

thanks ! omw from school, i jumped out of the moving van because, i thought we stopped. embarrassing. i did not get hurt but my fren started to bawl.

thanks ! i once turned so red after an awkward situation, that my teacher took me to the medical room, to check if i had fever.

Time (physics): Who started counting our current time or is it just "set" by some scientific measure?

thanks ! the lore i carry, are the things that actually happened to me. my parents n know nothing about whatever i wrote here except, where i have mentioned them. i have no plans on telling anything to them, any time soon. thank you.

thanks ! i am the way i am because my dad accidentally banged my head against the wall when i was 3, while playing with me.

thanks ! a car ran over my 4 year old self because, my frens had challenged me by saying ‘you cannot cross the road without help.’ guess what? i proved their point. my parents know nothing about this episode.

Is it okay for my husband to help other ladies without telling me?

thanks ! i once punched a guy in grade 6, and one of his teeth disappeared. we're still in touch and he has a denture, thank you.

thanks ! i yap fast, i eat fast, i walk fast. i walk really fast, i hate slow walkers.

thanks ! i kicked a guy who was three years senior to me, in the balls while playing kabaddi in the school playground because, he made fun of my hg for not having a father. deserved.

What is the sluttiest thing your wife has ever done?

thanks ! tata’s nano used to be my favorite car ever. its so cute, you cannot change my mind.

thanks ! my ex best friend stopped talking to me after i opened up something very personal to her. she was forcing me to tell, so i did. and she said ‘i can't stay frens with someone who has gone through that ew.’ OKAY.

side note : this is a slight trauma dump and heavy silly shit, so don't come at me ty.

What habits do happy couples have?

thanks ! i am disgustingly self aware, there's nothing i haven't already over-thought about.

thanks ! i almost fell from a 9 storey building while playing holi with my friends, in grade 6. idk who saved me but i remember getting pushed in a bucket of colored water after that.

thanks ! i have a useless talent of memorizing and recognising footsteps. if i am meeting someone for the first time and i hear their footsteps, i’ll know what their steps sound like when i meet them, next.

What makes Nigerian scammers skilled at impersonating people? Is their success a result of intelligence or other factors?

thanks ! it's still a mystery that, why i haven't broken any bones, considering the way i live.

thanks ! got chased by a group of seniors in grade 7, because we threw water balloons on their vehicles. valid because we did that on purpose.

thanks ! i almost got k!dnapp3d last year.

How did your marriage end?

thanks ! i once got sent back home because the receptionist thought i was in grade 8. i was in grade 11, thank you.